Steve Oke Chapchap Market
April 20, 2019
This Is Why Kenyan Men Fear Dating Taller Women
Recently, a friend, a successful public relations officer in her mid-30s, confided in me about a problem she faces in her dating life: She feels that she’s simply too tall for most men, standing at almost six feet. Despite her drop-dead gorgeous beauty, men avoid her. After we had this chit chat, I promised her, while I might not get her a tall man worth her beauty and success, I could get her lots of interesting tales to cope with her solitude up there.
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So as soon I managed to shake my clan, I quickly left the house under the guise of going for a car wash. As soon as I was out of the gate, I called Jemo. “You guy, where are you?” “Where do you expect me to me on a Saturday night?” Jemo yelled back. I figured he must have been on his fifth double shot of whiskey. “Come slowly or else, I won’t buy tonight,” I threatened.
“Am with the boys and we are already tipsy and have been drinking on your account? Nkt,” he yelled. I quickly beat a hasty retreat, and just told him to order something to bite. As soon as I got there, I discovered why Jemo was arrogant; there was a new girl at the table, and I knew Jemo likes springing to the front of the queue. So sensing that there might be competition for the lass’ attention, Jemo was talking with all the bravado he could muster so that he looked like the only tough guy at the table.
As soon as my drinks were served, and as the gods would have it I was served by a tall waitress, I knew I would not struggle to explain myself to the boys. “Jemo, would you date a chick taller than you?” I asked. “Never, no way, I can’t stand being looked down up on, literally,” he thundered. “Even if she looks like Angelina Jolie and Beyoncé rolled into one?” I insisted. “Does she have their money combined?” he shouted back. “Since when did you become a pimp?” I challenged him. “Ok, boss, what is your point?” he asked. “My point is, I got a tall gorgeous professional woman, drives a BMW 320 and lives in Nairobi’s Kilimani, and she is a lonely heart, just imagine”! I said. “Just listen, and listen well,” Jemo launched his lecture. “I cannot crane my neck to fix a bulb at home, and still crane my neck to get a peck from my woman. No way,” he protested. “But honestly, there is nothing wrong with that, I thought all that matters is chemistry and love,” I argued. “Do you want me to be the guy who lives in my woman’s shadow not because of anything but because she is tall and I look like am a Chihuahua being walked in hotel lobbies?” Philip, another friend, jumped in.
“Just say you got inferiority problems, but do not say taller woman are ‘undatable’,” Mark, who is usually quiet when sober, interjected. “If the woman is too tall, she always gets noticed by men. A taller woman, especially if she scores highly on the looks department, is a liability to a man,” said Kev. “Why is this so?” I asked. “As they say a man who marries a beautiful woman and a farmer who grows his crops by the roadside have similar problems. She will always get noticed by other men easily, as she stands out from the crowd,” Kev argued.